Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Mother Knows Best
It is rare that we understand our parent's rules and regulations as we are growing up. As we age, we develop a sense of immunity that only belongs to the young. We feel that nothing can touch us or change the way we look at things. Life is a giant adventure that we are about to tme to suit our own needs and desires. We never stop to listen to the advice of the older, more experienced person who has lived more life than we have. We are sure that whatever they have to say has absolutely NOTHING to do with our lives!!! I say all of this only to say that I am super frustrated with my daughter who just turned 21 yesterday. She is dating someone that I do not like and I do not believe that he makes her happy. Her entire personality changes around him and she becomes someone I don't know and that I don't like. Of course, as soon as I try to talk to her, she is in defense mode and will defend him with her life. Me, I remember having a similar conversation with MY Mother about my daughter's father. He was the end all, be all of my world and I was willing to fight for him to the death. Had my Mom not pushed and prodded so much about him, I probably would have realized that he was not the one for me and ended our relationship. Unfortunately, she kept pushing me until I rebelled and married the man. In retrospect, I know that the person that got hurt the most in that situation was ME. I had to pay for the consequences of my actions....not my Mom. It made everyone involved unhappy and there was a LONG period of time where I didn't really talk to my Mom. She was angry....I was angry.....no one was talking!!! I love my daughter more than anything but I cannot condone or approve of this relationship. Unfortunately, she has dug in her heels and is determined to continue whether I like it or not. And I am firmly in the NOT category!!! I know that I am pushing her away by standing my ground but I refuse to LOWER my standards for her....or rather for him. I refuse to be happy about my daughter being with someone who is so self-centered and egotistical. I refuse to accept someone into my life who is a prissy know-it-all who has seen, heard and done EVERYTHING in the world. Everything about their relationship makes me sick to my stomach and I hate seeing her shackle herself to someone who offers her nothing in return and could care less about her well-being. Even knowing that embracing him would allow me to have a close relationship with my daughter, I refuse to betray my beliefs.